I wanted a destination wedding frοm tһе beginning I һаνе always invisioned getting married οח a white sandy beach bу tһе clear blue water, חοt іח Pennsylvania. Even іf, һіѕ family һаԁ complained bесаυѕе tһеу wουƖԁ חοt bе аbƖе tο attend. Wе ԁіԁ рƖοt fοr a nice ceremony & reception even іf, іt wаѕ a strain οח ουr finances аחԁ I wаѕ being tοƖԁ bу mу family tһаt I wаѕ trying tο рƖοt a Champainge wedding οח a beer budget. 2 months ago,wе сһοѕе tһаt wе wουƖԁ ɡο ɡеt married bу a JP, wһісһ wаѕ fine wіtһ mе, now mу fiance һаѕ now сһοѕе(wіtһ tһе һеƖр οf һіѕ mother) tһаt һе wаחtѕ tο һаνе a wedding. I wаѕ more excited аbουt going tο tһе JP tһаח going out shopping fοr a wedding gown. I basically turned over tһе preparation tο һіm bесаυѕе I don’t care. I һаνе tһе attitude οf tеƖƖ mе wһеח аחԁ wһеrе I need tο bе οח tһаt day. Am I being selfish? Iѕ іt wеіrԁ tһаt I don’t һаνе a affront bit οf interest іח mу οwח wedding preparation? Hаѕ tһіѕ happened tο anyone еƖѕе?
Tags: amp, attitude, beer budget, clear blue water, destination wedding, fiance, jp, pennsylvania, shopping, wedding gown, Wedding Planning, white sandy beach
Hi. Yours is one of the saddest posts I have read. The answer to your question lies in the first sentence of your statement……"I wanted a destination wedding from the beginning……I have always envisioned….."
Why are you uninterested? Because YOUR dream is no longer the kind of wedding you are having. You need to sit down with your fiance and TAKE BACK your wedding. Otherwise, it will be a sore spot with you for years to come. You will not have a pleased memory of your wedding (even even if it may have been nice), because you did it for others and not yourself. Why don’t the two of you do your own "destination wedding" and leave everyone else home. When you get home, then you can have a larger reception IF that is what YOU want.
Take back your wedding NOW before you unhappiness it. Excellent luck!
too much interference from the families. I reckon it has gotten you depressed. Maybe you should talk to your finacee about going back to the original plot and elope. they are all being selfish and it will harm your life if you start out depressed in the marriage.
Why don’t you go ahead with your plans of a destination wedding and have it only be the two of you. Then when you return home have a large reception dinner announcing your marriage.
Yes, I was not in like. I did not get married.
Why dont you consider is a excellent chance to have a nice wedding, remember it could be the olny time you do it. Place a smile and start the planing.
Your disinterest in wedding preparation started when you weren’t able to get what you envisioned. Your wedding day should be a touch that you are excited about and look forward to. That will only happen when you follow your gut instincts or intuition. You are not being selfish in wanting that white sandy beach wedding. If you don’t go for it, not saying it has to be the most extravagant platinum type wedding, you will unhappiness it.
One of my friends who is from Alaska plotted a destination wedding in Hawaii and her family complained about not being able to attend but a year later on her wedding day do you know who showed up? The very ones who complained plus 40 family members. After the wedding, they were so pleased to have come and her cousin is now preparation a destination wedding of her own.
I’m not sure if you envisioned Hawaii (if you do message me because I got married there and lived there for over 20 years before moving to Pennsylvania recently) but go for your original vision. Then you’ll be able to get excited and you’ll care.
Also… You could have a very small beach wedding and have a professional videographer tape it. Then have a larger reception back home. During the reception, you could have a slideshow showing the two of growing up, then as a couple and finally show the video of your wedding ceremony. That way you could have the best of both worlds — your perfect ceremony and reception with all your family + friends.
I reckon you need to postpone the wedding.
Sounds like you are being accommodating to everyone . . . except yourself. You are vital too! It sounds like none of your needs or wishes are being met.
Sounds like there is a bit too much in-law interference going on here. The only way to stop that is for your fiance to be a man, and tell his family to back off . . . allowing the two of you to do the wedding preparation as a couple.
If your fiance is not competent of doing this, then perhaps he is not mature enough to marry???
Please give serious thought to postponing. Or even canceling. Misery is being married to a mama’s boy, I promise you.
There is absolutely nothing incorrect with you having a beach ceremony! Question your fiance if it is more vital to have you there or have his mom there at the wedding? If the answer is mom, you know what you need to do.
Excellent luck to you.
you are going to be very miserable if you let everyone take control of what is going to be one of the most special days of your life. have a talk with your fiance about what is best for both of you. this is a trial run for marriage. if you can’t work this out then you should reckon about postponing the wedding. and if your fiance is able to disregard what you want and do only what his family wants then imagine what married life will be like.
i reckon you should have the destination wedding. since you’ll be saving so much anyway why don’t you pay for part of the trip for your honored guests, like parents or siblings. then when you return have a reception for everyone else. you could have a video of the actual ceremony playing somewhere at the reception site. keep the reception simple, like a cake and champagne reception and maybe a few other desserts.
you are not being selfish. you need to place your foot down NOW.
yes it does, but usually to men. talk to him. question him WHY he wants to now have a church wedding. write down the pros and cons of everything. choose ExACTLY what you both want and then show each other your lists. choose what’s vital. the main thing is for you both to be pleased. you have to both be satisfied or why do it at all? you’re in like. reckon of how it used to be when you got butterflies and how you felt when OR IF you nearly lost him. that’s what i do. we had a semi small wedding. i did where a gown and i was excited to wear it. why aren’t you? is there a reason? tell him! and don’t, please don’t get snippy about his mom or offend him. this is the largest day of your life. but DO tell him that although you DO value her opinion, the wedding is for you and him only. you’re doing it because you like him and he likes you. that’s all that counts and whether or not you walk down the aisle in a gorgeous gown (and you WILL feel gorgeous I promise), or you walk on the beach with a preacher, or you go to the incite house in church clothes, remember why you’re getting married.
Sure, but I wanted to get married in a incite house not a church and I didn’t want a reception or any of that crap, but my fiance wanted differently and I said fine, if it makes people pleased I can sacrifice one day. I’m allowing my mother and my fiances mother to plot the whole thing because I despise weddings and they seem to like doing this like it’s exciting or a touch, so I’m just like you…tell me when and where to be.
Do the destination wedding like you want, and let his family throw you a party when you get back. Maybe once they see how much this will cost, they will back down and agree w/ your first plot.
If they agree on the party everyone can watch a dvd (you will have it taped) of your day. You all need to meet halfway, if his family gets their way on this, I’m frightened of what they will do to you two when you have kids. They will fight about which Holidays you will be w/ them and so on. Seriously, do they want to see you guys pleased one day or do they want it to be a lifetime of happiness for you both? Goodluck!!
The reason you feel indifferent to preparation your wedding is doubtless because it doesn’t feel like your wedding anymore. When you have a touch in mind and other people are constantly shooting it down, then it’s kind of like, "well, why bother?"
A wedding day is a celebration between the bride and groom and those that like them, but it’s also a day for YOU, not your future in laws. Your fiance needs to support YOU and YOUR wishes. You are not being selfish at all, you are just being run over by other people’s thoughts.
Stand your ground. You don’t have to have a "platinum" wedding, but you can find a way to get what you want while still being able to afford it. I just hope you don’t look back and unhappiness not having the wedding that you always wanted.
Excellent luck
First off, no - I don’t reckon it’s weird or selfish at all! Hey, most guys are like that! I don’t know many girls who’ve had a lot of input from their fiances aside from "tell me when and I’ll show up." So if it’s working for the two of you, then there’s no problem.
That said, there’s way too much shape from your families. Are they paying for it? If not, they don’t have much say in it and the two of you need to sit down, choose what you want to do, and stick to that. You’ll unhappiness it later.
No, you are not being selfish.You should have what you have always envisioned. A wedding day is supposed to be what you want and a joyous occasion. Someone else said that perhaps you should postpone for the time being, and I agree. Most grooms just want to be told where to be and when, not the bride! But it appears that this man is controlled by his mother, which may very well cause larger problems down the road. Also, he is not being encouraging to you as his future wife, which for me would be a red flag. Excellent luck to you.
Get married in PA and go on your honeymoon to the white sandy beach where you 2 can have a private "wedding" with a photographer there to confirmation the "ceremony."
You’re not attracted in preparation it, because what YOU want for YOUR wedding day isn’t being taken into account. I am VERY concerned that your fiance is willing to listen to his family (mother) and place her needs and concerns above his future wife’s. This is a HUGE red flag, and does not bode well for your future relationship with him and your mil. If she’s allowable to interfere in your wedding preparation–what else will she be allowable to interfere in your lives. Remember, you and he will be your own family–not an extension of his family, or your family.
You need to have a excellent, ‘ol fashioned, heart to heart with him. Clarify how you feel about how what you originally envisioned keeps getting changed to suit the needs of EVERYONE except the 2 most vital people in the wedding–the bride and groom. If you don’t want to wear a habitual wedding gown, then don’t! In small, please have the kind of wedding YOU and YOUR GROOM want–and if his mother doesn’t want to come to it, then it’s her problem–not yours, and certainly not your fiances! Trust me on this, I’m a mother, and NOTHING will keep me from one of my family’s weddings–except I’m in the hospital, unconscious or dead.
Excellent luck to you!
Have this conversation with your man and express that this is a day about the two of you and not about his mother. You all could still do your destination wedding and honeymoon and then return and have a reception for all of the family to attend. This day isn’t about them, it’s about the two of you and if you start out caving into his mother’s wishes, she will be in your bedroom the rest of your marriage.
Now if she’s paying for the wedding then she may be able to have some input, but if not, then oh well do what makes the two of you pleased. Tell him to be a man and stop punking out to his momma.