Hе’s getting frustrated wіtһ mе "nagging" һіm аbουt tһουɡһtѕ. Iѕ іt јυѕt һіm being a man? Oυr wedding іѕ scheduled fοr Mау 2010 аחԁ һе rесkοח іt’s waaaay tοο early tο bе preparation. Lеt mе חοt mention ουr barely tһеrе budget! Wе needed tο ѕtаrt preparation LAST YEAR!!! Aחу suggestions?
Lеt mе сƖаrіfу ѕοmе things:
Tһе οחƖу thing I’m concerned аbουt аt tһіѕ top іѕ tһе ceremony аחԁ reception venue аחԁ һοw wе саח save money іח those areas(those аrе tһе οחƖу things I really need һіѕ input οח aptly now)
Aחԁ second (tһіѕ іѕ fοr tһе commented wһο qυеѕtіοחеԁ іf I’m nuts): FIRST OF ALL NO IM NOT! AND IF YOU READ CORRECTLY, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT WE’RE NOT AT OUR FINANCIAL BEST AND FOR US, THE EARLIER WE START THE BETTER! <READ THEN RE-READ =)
*AƖѕο I wουƖԁ never bore һіm wіtһ tһе colors аחԁ flowers раrt, һе already рƖасе tһаt іח mу hands.
Tags: being a man, budget, colors, flowers, lt, money, nuts, reception venue
You’re not nuts, you’re smart. I’m not even engaged yet and I’m preparation my whole wedding (as much as I can save the actual booking and whatnot) because I want to delight in my date.
I reckon you should place it in perspective. Most men know that the wedding is their soon to be wife’s day. Just hand him a piece of paper and say "look, this is all you have to do" (this should include typical groom stuff such as telling his men to get tuxes, alternative out groomsmen, a best man, getting groomsmen gifts, and booking the honeymoon and the groom’s cake). Give him a few months to do the "man" stuff.
Do the bride stuff and question what he likes and doesn’t like. Give him about 4 months on this. All the while save. In 4 months, set a date, see where you’ve come. Question him what he thinks about the colors you picked out and blah blah blah and tell him what you reckon of the honeymoon. If he’s surprising you let him.
You need to sit down with him with the facts. Show him the books that disorder when you need to start preparation.. Clarify how vital it is to you. Make sure he knows. Clarify after you set the budget, pick the place, and do the guest list. He will be free from wedding plans for a few months. Which is right. Because if he is like most men. The wedding color, flowers, what your bridesmaids will be wearing isn’t what he cares about
i reckon all guys are this way, and believe me the less caught up they are the better.
a wedding is always more special to the bride the groom is just a very vital guest.
What type of questions are you asking?
Time-wise you need to figure out the guest list so you can book ceremony/reception place. That is all you really need to do at the moment. Are you talking about colours, flowers etc? Guys are just not that attracted in it when the wedding is so far away.
In future for you I found that my fiance doesn’t respond well to ‘thoughts’ but he prefers to really see a few pictures and then pick from there.
I share most of my preparation with my girl friends - and only take the huge decisions to the FH when required to.
Excellent luck.
ps it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry you - it is just men!
The only reason you need to plot this far ahead is if you’re banking on a princess wedding extravaganza. Otherwise, reserve the location and start saving money. May 2010 is more than a year away.
Are you nuts? Chill out. You DO still have time. But even if you do want to plot now dragging him owing to the mud and nagging him will do you no excellent. Just question him what he wants to have input on and do the rest yourself.
EDIT- My suggestions still stand. I have been there. I was engaged for 3 1/2 years while I finished college to a man who’s only request was they not wear pink tuxes. I promise, you can chill out a bit.
You need to question him what aspects he does care about. Then have him caught up in those things. If he is anything like my fiance, The only thing he is attracted in is the food and the honeymoon!
I reckon you have it simple aptly now. Most men don’t know what theyre doing. Leave him be and get a girlfriend to help with the preparation. Seriously you’ve got it excellent. I had a friend who’s fiance wanted to be caught up…he was so caught up I thought he was the bride-it felt like she as marrying a woman.
Reserve a reception hall and the place you want to get married. The rest can wait a while- maybe 6-9 months before the wedding
men dont like the thought of fretting over these types of things. what i did was research everything and narrow down to like 3-5 choices of whatever the come forth was, then bestow them to him. this made my husband very pleased because i had a clear image of the budget and type of wedding we wanted. i would try that. you have some time to research and i really know the budget thing. give yourself until start of summer to choose on a venue. if you book a venue about 1 year ahead of your date, you will be on schedule. congrats!
I have the same problem I just remind him that it is his day as much as it is mine. If he is like any guy he would rather skip the wedding and start the honeymoon. If you can’t choose on the venue then how will you know what to do for the honeymoon. I am sure he is a fantastic man and he likes you but as huge of a deal for you as the ceremony and reception are for you the honeymoon is for him. So you have to reckon of it like if I get this you will get that. If it makes any sense to you. So tell him the sooner you get this stuff done the sooner he can plot the honeymoon.
Maybe you should just question him what he wants. Possible that he does not want to participate because he wants a touch different from what you have in mind. Do you see your wedding the same way?